


She wants to get married, but she don't wanna marry me

by Volleyballchick_22



Series: To write my name on your heart [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volleyballchick_22/pseuds/Volleyballchick_22
Summary: Alex plans a wedding. Kelley pines. Follows a little bit of a timeline, but not really.





	1. She want to get married, but she don't wanna marry me

**Author's Note:**

> Here this is! I don't really know what it is, but here you go. Based off of the song "Marry Me" by Thomas Rhett.

_She wants to get married, she wants it perfect_

They’re fresh faced 22-year-olds’ experiencing their first World Cup together. They’ve been rooming together for three days and talking like old friends for two. All it took was one wise crack joke back at Cheney from Alex for Kelley to decide that her and the brunette were going to be best friends for a long time. Practice is hard and weight training leaves Kelley with wobbly knees and sore shoulders. She’s never been happier to be sore, or to pick beads of grass from her practice socks. She still hates ice baths and her peeling shoulders from being out in the sun too long, but being surrounded by the twenty other girls working just as hard as Kelley makes it all worth it.

“I want to experience that one day.” Alex says from her spot next to Kelley, head propped on their shared pillow.

They’re tucked away on Kelley’s bed catching up on missed episodes of _The Bachelorette_ on Alex’s laptop. A chorus of loud laughs come from the hallway followed by an almost yelled out curse word. Kelley supposes it’s from the teammates that decided to camp out in Pinoe and Abby’s room on their one and only afternoon off.

“To be on a reality show?”

Alex rolls her eyes at Kelley’s teasing smile, but the other girl doesn’t miss the way the sides of Alex’s mouth twitch.

“To have a wedding, you know?”

Kelley doesn’t know. The thought of settling down hasn’t ever really crossed her mind. Not even when she had that one serious relationship her junior year in college. The only thing she’s been focusing on is soccer and winning a World Cup trophy. She needs to do that and maybe win an Olympic medal before she can even begin processing the words ‘wedding’ or ‘settling down’.

“What do you want your wedding to be like?” She asks instead, turning to face Alex more.

Kelley takes a sip of her water, almost choking when Alex’s hand brushes her knee over the covers. A door closes loudly from the hallway.

“I always wanted a small wedding, but now with the team I think that it’d be cool to have one big enough to fit everyone. There’s a vineyard not too far from my house with a spot that overlooks the beach and I’ve always thought that would be the perfect place to have it. Just at sunset. It’d be perfect.” Alex has a small smile on her face and Kelley nods along to every word. Alex’s hands are waving around, open palmed and excited. “I want to have magnolias everywhere, hanging onto the ends of the rows that are set out. My Grandma had a new vase full every weekend when I used to visit, and they’ve always been my favorite.”

Kelley doesn’t know why she makes a note to remember that for the future. She just does.

“I’d want to have the cheesiest wedding song someone could ever have.” Kelley laughs, tossing her empty bottle across the room toward the small trashcan.

Alex watches it bounce off the back before hitting the ground with a dull echo.

“You would say that, Kell.”

Kelley stands, tossing the bottle into the trash. “Alright, what else do you want, Miss Perfect?”

Alex shakes her head. “I’m not going to tell you if you’re just going to make fun of me for it.”

Kelley stretches her arms above her head, causing her blue training shirt to rise just above her hips. She smiles at the cute pout Alex shoots in her direction.

“I’m not making fun of you, Al-Pal, promise.”

She jumps belly first back on the bed, chin propped in her hands like she’s thirteen again about to listen to the middle school gossip. Alex smiles, sits up straighter against the pillows.

“I want to kiss my groom just as the sunsets. It’s always been my favorite time in California.”

Kelley raises her eyebrows. “Georgia sunsets are better.”

She laughs, blocking the pillow that Alex swings at her.

~

_She got it all planned out. I can see it all right now._

They’re both 25-years-old now, and Alex’s warm family home is buzzing with people in almost every room. Loud voices come from every which way from the hallway, laughs echoing like a pattern as one room follows the next. Alex’s younger cousins, and Stella her niece with tight blonde curls and the signature Morgan blues, weaves their way in and out; trying to look for trouble and stay out of it. Kelley’s hidden away in the den, tucked on the pull-out couch between Ashlyn and Jen’s husband Kayden. Mike Morgan is sitting in front of them casually sipping a bottle of bud light while Pam catches up with one of Alex’s high school friend’s parents. Ashlyn and Kayden are arguing over Kelley’s head about stats that she’s only half listening to.

“Hope is so much better than Scurry, right, Kell?”

Kelley looks up from where she’s peeling the label of her own bottle. Ashlyn’s eyes are intensely staring down at her.

“Huh?”

Ashlyn rolls her eyes while Kayden laughs behind her. Kelley feels her ears start to grow hot.

“Come on, Abby will settle this.”

Kelley stands to follow them out, ignoring the confused look Mike gives her. He’s been acting weird toward her since Alex announced her engagement last year. Alex’s entrance hallway is littered with pictures from the Bride-to-be’s childhood. Almost every photo after 2011 is filled with Kelley squished tightly between Jeri and Alex. Servando’s in almost every picture with them, always just on the other side of Alex. Kelley rolls her eyes at the picture of Jen, Jeri, Alex, and her from last Christmas when Alex practically smuggled Kelley on the plane home with her. After the photo was taken and Kelley had snuck into the kitchen to finish off the rest of the dishes, Alex had wrapped her arms around her, pressed closely to her back.

_I’m glad you’re here._

If Kelley squeezes her eyes shut too tight she can almost hear the way Alex’s voice had been so soft, so light. She can remember the feelings bubbling up in her throat, threatening to spill out without warning.

Stella bumps roughly into Kelley’s leg. She opens her eyes, staring at the photo. Servando is standing behind Alex, a hand on her shoulder and bright smile that proves he belongs with the Morgan’s.

“Sorry, Kelley!”

Stella’s voice is almost as raspy as Alex’s. Kelley smiles, setting her beer down on the hall table filled with pictures of all the Morgan girls.

“Uh, oh, Stells, I think you started a wrestling match!”

The 6-year-old smiles, leaning forward with her hands on her hips.

“I can take you!” She challenges.

Kelley will never get over how much of a mini-Alex this kid is. She laughs, mocking Stella with her hands on her hips.

“Oh yeah?”

Stella nods, curls bobbing. “Yeah!”

In one fluid motion Kelley has Stella thrown over her shoulder and running into the kitchen. Stella’s bright, high-pitched laugh echoes against her eardrums as she stutter-steps around Syd and Pinoe before spinning around Cheney. She can feel Alex’s eyes on her without having to look at her.

“I think I’m winning, Kid.” Kelley laughs.

Stella giggles, struggling to catch her breath as she brushes strands of hair away from her face with both hands.

“That’s not fair! You’re bigger than me.” She puffs her cheeks.

Jen steps forward, stealing her daughter away from Kelley.

“Not by much, Stella-bella.”

Kelley nods, ruffling the blonde curls. She hasn’t stopped smiling just yet.

“It’s not the size of the dog, but the size of the fight in the dog.”

Stella rolls her eyes like Jeri. Jen smiles fondly at her daughter.

“I don’t know what that means!”

A chorus of laughs vibrates off the walls. Kelley watches the light blush spread up Stella’s neck.

“You will if you’re as short as your mom.”

Jen rolls her eyes as everyone laughs again. A grateful smile crosses her lips as she looks back at Kelley.

“Still taller than you, O’Hara.”

Kelley shakes her head. “You’re lucky you’re holding Stella.”

Jen playfully winks before disappearing out of the kitchen to find Kayden. Kelley wonders if him and Ashlyn ever found Abby as she moves to walk outside. The sliding door closes softly behind her.

The air is cooler outside on the patio as the wind whips through her hair, blowing it over her shoulder. The sun’s just setting, causing the sky to mix in pink and orange colors. Kelley’s learned to appreciate California sunsets.

“Having fun?”

This is the reason she’s learned to appreciate them. Kelley looks back at Alex, who’s smiling warmly from her spot by the door. The bottom of the long, white beach dress she’s wearing blows with the wind as well as her hair. Alex brushes the strands of hair behind her ear. Kelley can’t help but smile at her.

“A blast.” She promises.

Alex nods, leaning forward against the porch railing. Kelley’s learned not to focus too much on the way their arms brush. It’s always been this thing that just happens between them.

“I forgot we invited so many people.”

Kelley nods, tries to not stare at the side of Alex’s head for too long. She’s been caught more times than she’s like to admit by Alex who just laughs it off, but Kelley has to learn to start looking away.

“It’s only half-past nine and you already want to kick everyone out to watch Netflix? You’re losing your edge, Al-Pal.”

Kelley doesn’t look at Alex to know she’s smiling at the teasing tone. Kelley relaxes against the railing, breathing a little calmer for the first time all night.

“Getting engaged changed me.” Alex laughs.

Kelley smiles a little bit at Alex’s laugh. She can already feel the shift in the conversation.

“Do you think you’ll ever settle down?”

Someone yells from inside who sounds a lot like Syd followed by Jeri. Kelley shrugs, tapping her fingers against the wood of the railing.

“Probably one day, but I don’t see it happening in the near future.” She bumps her foot against Alex’s ankle. “I gotta hold down my reputation for a little bit longer.”

 _And win a World Cup_.

Alex laughs softly. “Going to let Ashlyn and Ali beat you to it?”

Kelley nods. “Definitely. That’s one wedding I want to be the life of the party for.”

“If Ashlyn ever gets her shit together.” Alex adds.

“ _When_ Ashlyn gets her shit together.” Kelley corrects, raising her eyebrows.

Alex turns toward her, smiling down at her. Kelley doesn’t even have to ask before she steps forward and wraps her arms around Alex’s neck. Alex’s arms wind loosely around Kelley before the taller girl lets out a soft sigh.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Kelley swallows down the nostalgia.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Her words are muffled by Alex’s bare shoulder.

A throat clears behind them. Panic knots in Kelley’s stomach, but Alex slowly pulls away. Mike nods his head back inside, scratches at his beard.

“You’re-Abby wants to make a speech. Everyone’s looking for you two.”

He shifts uncomfortably like he’s interrupted something. In Kelley’s mind he did; a little bit. Alex claps her hands, Kelley jumps. Mike furrows his eyebrows, but smiles softly as his daughter pauses in front of him.

“Better have a new beer opened because Abby’s gives long speeches.”

Kelley nods in agreement behind her. Alex disappears inside, back into the crowd before Kelley can think of anything to add to the statement. 

“You okay, Kid?”

Mike stops her in the doorway, blue eyes filled with concern. Those are Alex’s eyes.

Kelley nods out of instinct. “Yes, Sir.”

He opens his mouth to press her further in that way that concerned parents are supposed to, but Kelley is already halfway through the kitchen before he can. Kelley finds standing room to squeeze in between Cheney and Tobin somewhere in the back of the living room. She ignores the look that Hope shoots her across the room.

Abby’s speech is stupidly long, but sweet and told with that proud out-stretched grin that’s always only been reserved for Alex, and that makes Cheney cry as Abby recites stories. Kelley doesn’t look when Alex leans in to kiss Servando afterwards.

~

_I remember the night when I almost kissed her. I kind of freaked out, we’d been friends for forever._

Alex’s fingers are warm around her wrist as she tugs Kelley along the hallway, pausing at the top of the stairs to listen for any sign of life in the rooms below them. Kelley giggles in Alex’s ear as she stumbles into the taller girl, rolling her eyes at the overexaggerated way her friend is taking sneaking downstairs for snacks. It makes Kelley feel like she’s sixteen again and not twenty-three.

“What are you doing?” Kelley whispers.

Alex looks back at her, mischief smile barely visible from the downstairs hallway light.

“Pretending like we’re in a movie.”

Kelley laughs at her, causing Alex’s grin to widen. Alex tugs her down a couple of steps.

“You’re lame.” Kelley says.

But when she steps off the last step she rolls to hide behind the kitchen island just to hear Alex laugh.

“All clear, Partner.” Alex says, voice muffled by her hand.

Kelley stands, fixing her hair just as Alex pulls a pack of Gushers from the back of her Dad’s deemed ‘Healthy Cabinet’.

“How do you know those were there?”

Alex smiles, offering Kelley a red gusher. Of course, it’s a red one because Alex has already taken all the blue ones. Kelley pops the red gusher into her mouth, already feeling the cavities starting to appear.

“Dad hides them back there while he’s on a health kick and Mom pretends not to notice.”

Kelley swallows. “Pretends?”

If Kelley’s learned one thing about Alex’s family, it’s that nothing ever gets pass Pam Morgan. Alex nods, crumbling the wrapper and tossing it into the trashcan behind Kelley.

“She allows him one pack a week then calls him out on his shit if he goes over the limit.”

The laugh bubbles up in Kelley’s throat and vibrates at the image of Pam telling Mike off in her head. Kelley wonders if she waves her arms around like Alex does when she gets angry. The brunette in front of her smiles, spinning around to pull a jar of Nutella from the cabinet. Kelley already as two spoons ready as they lean against the counter and stove. Dawn’s going to kill them once they’re back at the next camp.

Kelley basks in the feeling of piece that surrounds them as they work on devouring the jar.

“I want this one day with someone.”

Kelley smiles. “A health cabinet?”

Alex narrows her eyes at the shorter girl, already tired of Kelley’s teasing. Kelley ignores the way her forearm tingles at the contact of Alex’s skin as the girl turns toward her.

“No,” Alex swallows down the mouthful of Nutella. Kelley taps her spoon against her lips, waiting for Alex to continue. When it comes to talking about weddings and the future it’s one of the things that Alex does best. “to be domestic with someone like this one day.”

Kelley nods. “Yeah, Al, that kind of comes with the whole marriage thing.” The next words taste bitter on her tongue. “I’m sure you’ll have that one day with Serv.”

The look Alex gives her in return is hesitant, unsure.

“Do you really think that?” Alex’s voice is small, scared.

Kelley nods, forces a smile. “Yeah, totally. You don’t?”

Alex chews on her bottom lip, stirs her spoon in the jar.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about marrying him.”

Kelley frowns. “Come on, you’ve had your wedding planned since the moment I met you.” She playfully hits Alex’s spoon out of the jar before shoving her spoon back in her mouth. “You’ve had to think about who you see yourself marrying.”

Kelley’s mouth is full of Nutella and Alex makes a disgusted face at her. She plucks the spoon from Kelley’s hand before walking over and dropping it in the sink with hers. Kelley twists the lid back on the jar before putting it back into its rightful place.

“I guess I’ve always focused more on the wedding itself and not who would be meeting me at the altar.”

Kelley nods. “That’s okay.”

She spins back around just as Alex slides in front of her; the girl’s fuzzy pink socks catching on the hardwood floor. Kelley reaches out, grabbing Alex by the sleeve of her own cardinal red Stanford hoodie. In public Alex would never be caught dead in it, but behind closed doors Kelley knows it’s her favorite.

“Easy there, Clumsy.” Kelley breathes.

It takes another second before the two are laughing too loud to even be considered remotely quiet. Alex’s arms are wrapped around Kelley’s hips and her head buried into her shoulder as the felling of her laugh vibrates through Kelley. The tension that either had felt from the previous conversation slowly dissolves. Kelley feels the electricity of the moment running through her as Alex slowly pulls away. Alex’s laugh is still low and warm against her lips and Kelley can’t help but stare. Kelley’s heart thuds in her chest. She wonders if Alex’s lips will taste like Nutella. She leans forward slowly, watching the way Alex’s eyes flutter shut. A dog barks from outside.

 _Shit, what is she doing_?

Kelley’s lips only pause on Alex’s cheek for a moment before she pulls away and offers her a sleepy smile. Alex eyes slowly flutter open and Kelley feels her palms sweating.

“Come on, Al, let’s go to bed.”

~

_When I got the invite, I knew it was too late._

She’s twenty-five when she gets the wedding invitation. The corners of Kelley’s invitation are worked in and folded multiple times from whoever mailed hers. The tan paper goes well with the black writing:

Please join us in celebrating the wedding of:

Alex

&

Servando

December 31, 2014

Kelley’s hands shake as she stares down at the letter in her hands. She remembers Alex promising the team that everyone would get their invitations a couple of weeks after the last camp, but she didn’t think that it would happen so soon. She waits until her hands are steady before she texts Alex.

 _Can’t wait to watch you two crazy kids tie the knot!_ She writes, _I’ll be there looking like the hot best friend ;)_

Kelley doesn’t cry.

~

_And I know her daddy’s been dreading this day, but he ain’t the only one giving her away._

The air outside the large church is vibrant and full of excited voices. It took Kelley half an hour to climb out of the uncomfortable hotel bed, and another twenty minutes before she decided that yes, she had to go. (Hope and Christen had to drag her out of bed before she even attempted to start getting ready).

Inside, the church is brightly lit from the sun outside and a few dimly lamps that add to the intimate setting. Few people are seated inside; mostly just Alex’s high school friends and a couple of Servando’s college teammates. Mike is standing off to the side away from the groups of people, staring at old photos of the Bride and Groom. Kelley sighs, clutching the Stanford hoodie in her hand before making her way toward him.

“Nervous?”

Mike doesn’t look at her, only raises his eyebrows at a photo of Servando and Alex from the beginning of their relationship. Kelley thinks it’s from a Cal frat party.

“Why would I be? I got the easiest part.” His voice is low and deep as if he’s trying to keep the conversation from drifting to outside ears. There’s a tension in his voice, one that Kelley isn’t used to hearing.

She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s true.”

He’s got the hardest part. Kelley wants to tell him that, but doesn’t.

Mike turns and looks at her, sliding his hands into the pockets of his suit jacket. A black suit with a pale blue tie. Alex once told Kelley she liked grey and pink. Nothing about this wedding feels anything like the one she always imagined for Alex.

“What about you, Kelley?”

She looks away from the flowers at the end of the church pew behind her. It’s various arrangement of lilies and sunflowers, but a magnolia sets in the center of them all.

“What about me?” She echoes.

Mike purses his lips, kicks the toe of his dress shoe against a leg of the table. Kelley hopes that it doesn’t scuff.

“How are you feeling?”

She frowns. “I’m happy for Alex. She’s my best friend and this is her dream.”

Mike nods. “I know that, but-” he pauses, scratches the back of his neck. It’s a nervous habit that Alex gets from him. “She’s my little girl and it’s going to kill me to give her away today no matter how happy I am for her. I know it’s going to kill you a little bit, too.”

“Mike-”

Loud footsteps come from the hallway to their left. Jen smiles brightly at them both, beckoning Kelley toward her. Kelley’s never been more grateful for the eldest Morgan.

“Kelley, for what’s it worth I always thought that it was going to be you.” Mike nods, shifts his weight. “Ever since I saw you two that night in the kitchen.”

It feels like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of her. Part of her wishes that he would have punched her, it would have hurt a lot less.

“Me, too.”

She hurries over to Jen, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Jen reaches out, wrapping her fingers around Kelley’s arm.

“Are you okay?” She whispers.

Kelley nods, forcing a smile. “Yeah, it’s a wedding. How’s my girl looking?”

Jen smiles. “Gorgeous, but she’s so nervous. Do you think you can talk her down?”

Kelley nods, already starting to brush past Jen and down the hall.

“Yeah, give me ten minutes.”

~

_But she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now. I could try and find her, get it off of my chest now. But I ain’t going to mess it up, so I wish her the best now._

Her breath catches in her throat, heart stopping once she sees Alex standing in front of the mirror. Alex’s wedding dress is long with the top covered in lace. It’s opened in the back shifting and moving with every move that Alex makes. It’s the perfect combination of vintage and modern just like Alex had always wanted. Even from behind Kelley can’t help but be blown away.

Kelley frowns at the way Alex nervously twists her engagement ring around her finger. She watches the way Alex reaches up to rub the back of her neck.

“Cold feet?”

If this were any other day Kelley would laugh at the way Alex jumps and quickly spins around in her heels. This isn’t any other day, though. In less than one-hour Alex is going to be married. In less than one-hour Kelley is going to have to be okay with letting her go.

“Is this what this feels like?” Alex’s voice is soft and low.

Kelley steps fully into the room, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. Alex’s eyes don’t leave hers as she tosses the sweatshirt down on the loveseat. She steps forward, ignoring the way her heart quickens the closer she gets to Alex.

“You might have to ask Jen and Jeri, or Cheney. They have more experience being in your shoes.” Kelley shoots a small smile her way. “What’s going through your mind, Al?”

Her hands itch to reach out and run her fingers over the lace covering Alex’s arms or twirl one of the curls framing Alex’s face around her finger, but she keeps them pressed to her sides. The Bride sighs, moving to sit on the loveseat. Kelley follows.

“What if this isn’t what I want?” Her voice holds nothing but fear and doubt.

Kelley’s eyebrows furrow. Alex isn’t looking at anything but the sweatshirt in Kelley’s lap.

“You’ve been talking about this day for like ever. Literally, you’re the reason why I even subscribed to those dumb wedding magazines.” Kelley smiles at the way Alex’s mouth twitches. “What’s made you change your mind?”

Alex breathes deeply through her nose, shrugging and leaning back against the couch cushions.

“This is a big step.”

“Duh,” Kelley smiles, nudging her shoulder. “but you’ve been waiting for this day for so long that I know you’re ready for it. Besides, it’ll all be worth it once Servando is blown away by how hot you look.”

Alex smiles, it’s small and doesn’t fully reach her eyes, but Kelley watches the tension slowly leave her shoulders. Alex reaches out and playfully tugs on the strap of Kelley’s dress.

“Black looks good on you.”

“You look beautiful.” Kelley counters. She means every word.

Kelley swallows, staring at Alex’s now pink cheeks. For a moment it feels like they’re back in a random hotel room at camp just the two of them. Kelley wishes she could always go back to that feeling of normalcy.

“What is that?”

Kelley looks down at the sweatshirt, her stomach knotting in nerves before she offers it out to Alex.

“It’s part of your wedding gift.” Kelley nervously scratches her cheek.

“An ugly Stanford hoodie?” Alex teases, unfolding the gift. She looks over the Stanford writing before looking back at Kelley. “Kell-”

Kelley smiles, shakes her head. There’s footsteps coming down the hall.

“It’s been with us through a lot, so I thought that you should have it for this next part.”

Kelley’s voice is soft, and her eyes are burning with tears that she refuses to cry. She doesn’t understand why she’s getting emotional over a damn sweatshirt.

“This is your favorite piece of clothing.”

Alex’s eyes are bright and it’s almost comical just how surprised she is. Almost.

“I had to let go of it someday.” _Just like you_ , hangs in the back of her throat.

In the next moment, Alex hugs her just as tight as she did at the Olympics. Kelley squeezes her shut, breathes it all in from the smell of Alex’s coconut shampoo to the scent of sweet pea coming from the dress. She won’t forget this moment.

Three slow, steady knocks come from the hall before the door opens. Pam sticks her head into the room smiling warmly at both girls. She looks like she’s been crying, but Kelley knows it’s only been happy tears.

“It’s almost time.” Her voice is soft, happy.

Kelley smiles, stands before helping Alex up. Alex looks calmer than she did when Kelley first walked into the room.

“I’ll see you out there” Kelley says, squeezing her hand. “You’re going to kill it, Baby horse.”

Alex laughs. Pam squeezes Kelley’s shoulder as she walks out of the room. Her chest feels tight as she searches the crowd for Hope and Christen. She can feel the tears start rolling down her cheeks when she finds Christen seated next to Tobin and just behind Hope and Abby. Hope stands when she sees Kelley, but the shorter girl shakes her head.

“I’m going to go.” Kelley breathes deeply, trying not to focus too long on the look of pity Abby’s currently giving her. “I thought that I could do this, but I can’t. I can’t.”

Hope nods, “Okay, let me know where I can meet you after.”

Kelley swallows. “Wish her the best for me.”

Kelley’s out the church doors before Alex and Servando meet for prayer.

~

_I’ll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees. Yeah, she wanna get married, but she don’t wanna marry me._

The coffee burns the back of Kelley’s throat as she gulps it down. She should be drinking now; drowning her sorrows away at a random bar with Jack Daniels. If this were a movie she’d meet a stranger and use them to fill in for the warmth she wishes was Alex, but this isn’t a movie and she’s not at a bar. Instead she’s at the small diner that Alex liked to drag her to early on Saturday mornings to eat their weight in greasy bacon and pancakes. Kelley clicks the home button on her phone, it lights up with the time 5:45. Fifteen minutes until Alex is officially married.

“You don’t look like you belong here right now.”

Kelley watches the waitress refill her coffee. She shakes her head, smiling politely.

“No, not really.”

She holds onto the mug with both hands. She tries not to notice as the waitress hovers to close to her.

“No one looks good in heartbreak, Sweetie, but it doesn’t last forever.”

Kelley tries not to roll her eyes at how much of a romantic comedy this feels like. Kelley doesn’t say anything, and the waitress goes back to tending to other customers. She sighs, shaking her head. She should have said something to Alex sooner. She should have kissed her that night in the kitchen and told her all the things that she’s kept hidden away. All the things that she still wants to say to her.

She shakes her head again, checking the time. 5:50. Ten minutes. She moves to look outside, trying to focus on something else. Cars drive past the diner, people ride bikes, and there’s this one girl running down the sidewalk in a red hoodie and what looks to be a wedding dress. Kelley shakes her head trying to focus on two kids playing soccer at the small park across the street; crazy California people.

Her eyes instantly snap back to the woman running toward the diner. She’s out the door and running down the sidewalk before she even hears the doorbell. Kelley slides to a stop in front of her, shaking her head at the out of breath girl.

“Alex, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be saying your vows any minute.”

Alex struggles to catch her breath; Kelley reaches out and steadies the girl. Alex’s fingers wrap around the crook of Kelley’s elbows; she slowly starts to breath again.

“I can’t.”

Kelley eyebrows furrow. “Yes, you can, come on we have to go.” She pushes at the Alex’s shoulders, causing the taller girl to stumble back. “Let’s go, come on.”

Alex shakes her head, fingertips pressing into Kelley’s skin. People dodge around them and almost trip over Alex’s dress. All Kelley can focus on is the redness of Alex’s cheeks and the fact that they have eight minutes to get her back to the church.

“No, I can’t marry him.”

“What are you talking about?” Kelley pushes at her shoulders. “He’s your dream guy; you’ve been waiting for this day forever.”

Alex shakes her head, planting her feet. The determined look in Alex’s eyes registers something in Kelley’s mind. It makes her pause in her efforts to push Alex back to the church.

“I wanted it to be you. I _want_ it to be you.”

Kelley barely has enough time to process Alex’s words before the taller girl’s lips are pressed against hers; hungrily kissing her like that’s what she was put on earth to do. (Kelley believes that it is).

“Are you sure about this?” Kelley asks, once she forces herself to pull away.

Alex chases her with quick kisses. Kelley waits for Alex to make a big, long speech about it, but her lips never leave Kelley’s. They have so much to talk about.

“ _Yes_.”

Both girls smile through the next kiss.


	2. But I'll take your love with me as I go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'd never thought I'd post this. Thanks for reading!

Small diners aren’t places for wedding dresses and tied tongues. Kelley knows this, and Alex waits by the door while she pays for her coffee. 

Alex. 

Alex Morgan who should have gotten married today. Alex Morgan who ran out of her own wedding; who kissed Kelley no less than five minutes ago while the sun set behind them. Alex  _ fucking _ Morgan who ran out of her own wedding  _ for _ Kelley. 

_ Shit _ .

The entire diner has their eyes on them when Kelley follows Alex out the door. Her hand itches to touch the skin on Alex’s back; she doesn’t. For a split second Kelley considers running back inside to talk to the waitress one more time; she doesn’t. Instead, she opens the passenger side door for Alex and helps her climb inside. Kelley’s skin burns when her fingers wrap around Alex’s arm; it makes her head spin. 

_ Shit _ .

Alex is silent; Kelley’s knuckles are white around the gear shift. The radio doesn’t play between them. The sun has fully set when Kelley merges on the freeway, and the nighttime California traffic has rolled in. Honestly, she wishes she would have booked a room outside of town. 

Kelley feels lighter than she did just an hour and a half ago, though. Now, this feeling is different. It’s still heavy and suffocating almost like heartbreak, but damn does it feel a whole lot better. Alex kissed her and told her that she wanted it to be her. Alex Morgan could possibly want to marry her one day. Fuck. 

“Hey,” Alex’s voice is soft, making Kelley jump. They’re still stuck in traffic two exits down from the Holiday Inn. Alex’s hand slides over Kelley’s, warm and shaking. “You’re thinking too much.”

The ring is gone. Kelley wonders if Alex can breathe easier, or if it’s just her. 

~

Kelley still feels like she’s in sensory overload in her hotel room. The dim bedside lamp is too bright and the hum of the vent from the bathroom too loud. The door to the bathroom opens, and the light switch flips off echoing around her. Alex walks out, hair pulled back into a messy bun, and the sweatshirt pulled down over a pair of Kelley’s practice shorts. Kelley’s used to feeling breathless around her. 

“I’ll have to take this back tomorrow.” Alex sets the wedding dress on the table. 

Kelley nods, wondering what Alex would say if she offered to drive her. She doesn’t offer. 

“If that’s what you still want.” She says instead. 

The look Alex fixes Kelley’s way makes her stomach knot. It looks a lot like loneliness and longing, and every damn feeling that Kelley has felt for the past three years. Right now Kelley just wishes the world would stop spinning.

Alex’s fingertips are cool on Kelley’s jaw and her breath minty from mouthwash. It doesn’t stop Kelley’s head from spinning; makes her feel more dazed. 

“You’re what I want, Kell.”

Kelley swallows at Alex’s sureness. This is real. She didn’t think that it would feel this scary. She never knew how this would feel. 

“Since when?”

Alex sits cross-legged on the bed, folding her hands in her lap. Kelley misses her touch. 

“Last Christmas, maybe.” Alex tugs one of Kelley’s hands into her lap, tracing patterns into her palm. “It might’ve been before that, but I knew then for sure.”

Last Christmas? What is this? A Wham! music video?

“Why didn’t you ever say anything-” Kelley stops. She shakes her head. Why didn’t  _ she _ ever tell Alex? “Why’d you do it now?”

Loaded question. Why did Alex wait? Why didn’t she say something at their last camp, or during Christmas, or on one of their FaceTime calls? Why wait until her wedding day?

“Because I knew that this was my last chance. When you walked out of my dressing room, I knew that I couldn’t keep pretending. I couldn’t let what we have go without trying it out first. I,”  Alex takes a breath, “I couldn’t keep pretending that I loved Servando more than I love you.”

Kelley licks her lips, staring at their hands. She lets Alex’s words sink into her; replaying them all again over and over. 

_ I couldn’t keep pretending that I loved Servando more than I love you. I couldn’t keep pretending. I love you. Servando.  _

Shit, Servando.

“What did he say?”

There’s a shift, Alex flinches back in surprise. Servando’s always been in the picture when Kelley imagined Alex’s future. Servando was always going to be Alex’s forever, and Kelley was always going to be watching from the sidelines. That’s how it’s supposed to go. 

Correction, that’s how it  _ was _ supposed to go. 

Alex can tell Kelley that she wasn’t in love him as much as she was Kelley, but that doesn’t change the fact that Alex does- _ did _ love him. You don’t almost marry someone you aren’t in love with. 

“He was upset, but who wouldn’t be? He’d be heartless if he wasn’t.” Kelley can feel her own eyes burn as the tears roll down Alex’s cheeks. “He told me that I deserve to be happy and that he needed time to accept that he couldn’t be the one to give that to me. I- He’s such a good man, Kell, and he deserves so much more than someone who could only love him halfway.”

Kelley doesn’t allow herself to think about if she was in his place. In a way she almost was. 

The room goes quiet again. Kelley breathes in everything, watching Alex’s tired eyes scan across her face. There’s so much more that they need to talk about, but it feels like too much. 

“There’s so much that I want to say, but I don’t know how right now.”

Alex smiles, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but it makes Kelley feel a little bit better. 

“Me either.” Alex pushes down the comforter, slipping underneath before pulling Kelley with her. “We can talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

Alex yawns, slipping her arm around her and twisting her fingers into Kelley’s shirt. It’s early. Too early for Kelley’s normal sleep schedule, but she’s exhausted. 

_ Tomorrow,  _ Kelley thinks. She’ll still have Alex tomorrow. 

She relaxes in Alex’s hold, breathing in her comfort. When Kelley falls asleep, she feels like she’s in a hotel room at camp.

~

Tomorrow for Kelley comes at 5:30 in the morning. 

The room is dark and hazy. Her head hurts from oversleeping, and her nose is cold, but the rest of her feels warm from the body wrapped around her. She turns slowly, doing her best not to wake Alex. Kelley lets out a small breath, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Alex is asleep next to her, bare face and beautiful. Everything from yesterday rushes back to her. Kelley’s never felt the need to run more than this moment. 

The gym on the first floor is empty, but Kelley’s room key unlocks the door. She breathes in the smell of the room. It’s only cleaning products, but Kelley feels a little more at ease. She turns her phone on for the first time since Alex first got to the diner yesterday. She’s got more missed calls than ever and even more frantic texts from Jen, Jeri, and the gals. She sends catch-up texts to the first few before closing out of her messages. The only thing that catches Kelley’s eye is the date on her calendar. January 1, 2015. It’s 2015, and Alex is asleep in her bed. It’s 2015, and they have a World Cup to win. 

Kelley runs harder on the treadmill. 

~

Alex finally stirs around 7:30 just as Kelley’s finished towel drying her hair. Alex smiles at her so soft and sleepily that Kelley melts. 

“Morning, Sleepyhead.” She says. 

Alex takes the styrofoam cup of coffee Kelley offers to her. She holds it with both hands, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

“How’d you sleep?” 

Alex takes a small sip from the cup, “Good, considering how yesterday went. How long have you been up?”

“Long enough to get four miles in on the treadmill, shower, and get you a cup of crappy hotel coffee.”

Kelley takes a timid step forward, testing the boundaries of her and Alex’s newly found relationship. She shouldn’t be nervous. Really. Her and Alex have always been close friends who didn’t have a clue of what personal space was (obviously), but now Kelley’s nervous. She’s allowed to be nervous around Alex, and not have to be scared of looking weird because of it. 

“Thank you for the crappy hotel coffee.”

Alex wraps her fingers around Kelley’s wrist, tugging gently. Kelley bends down, allowing herself to feel okay with how her stomach flutters. 

She can have these feelings for Alex and not feel guilty about it. Alex chose her. No matter what at the end of the day Alex chose her. 

Alex kisses her cheek softly, and Kelley blushes as she pulls away. 

Kelley clears her throat, “If you get around and stop being lazy then I’ll treat you to some breakfast at our favorite diner.”

Alex runs her fingers through her hair, “You’re amazing.”

“So I’ve been told multiple times.” Kelley tugs on the comforter, pulling it down to Alex’s ankles. She feels her cheeks grow warmer when her hand brushes over Alex’s bare leg. “Come on, we don’t have all day.”

Alex playfully groans, handing Kelley her coffee before brushing past her and into the bathroom. Kelley breathes, taking Alex’s seat on the bed. 

Today’s going to be a long day.

~

Kelley’s stomach knots when they slide into a random booth for breakfast. The booth that she sat in the day before is occupied by an old married couple. The old man skims over a newspaper and the lady scrolls on her cell phone, holding it close to her glasses. The waitress who sets Kelley’s sweet tea and Alex’s fresh, half decent coffee down in front of them isn’t the same one from the day before. This one’s younger and looks a little longer at Alex like she’s trying to figure out where she saw her before. Kelley smiles over her glass at the thought of someone recognizing Alex as the crazy lady running down the street in her wedding dress.

“Do you think she recognizes you?”

Alex hums, sipping her coffee, “I don’t think so. She would’ve asked by now.”

Kelley nods, “Yeah, I don’t think she was here last night.”

Alex cracks up. She shakes her head and Kelley’s grin widens. Alex throws Kelley’s wrinkled straw paper at her before taking another from her cup. Kelley reaches over slowly, the tips of her fingers brush against Alex’s. 

“What are you thinking about?” She whispers.

Alex threads their fingers together, brushing her thumb across Kelley’s knuckles. Kelley stares at it a little longer than she should.

“How happy I am right now.”

“Really?”

Kelley’s heart drums in her chest. Alex nods, drinks more of her coffee. It’s slowly killing Kelley how Alex can just act like this is an everyday thing for them. Like this isn’t some new thing that Kelley can do. Kelley can hold her hand now and it mean something; she could probably kiss Alex right now without regret, but they still need to talk. 

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t, Kell.”

Okay, true. 

“So this is for real?” Kelley asks. She taps her fingers against the back of Alex’s hand, “You’re not just going to wake up tomorrow and decide that you don’t want this with me? I don’t think I could come back from this, Al.”

Her chest tightens as she remembers the hurt she felt yesterday when she was preparing herself to let Alex go. She watches Alex swallow now, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

“I can’t either.”

Alex’s voice is strong, but Kelley can hear the slight tremble underneath it. Alex has wanted this for a long time, too. Maybe not as long as Kelley, but longer than what Kelley would ever have thought. She doesn’t know how she didn’t see it at Christmas, or even before. There was that one night in the kitchen, but that was just them getting caught up in the moment. 

“Al-”

“I told Abby.”

Kelley’s eyebrows furrow, “What?”

“After you left last year, after Christmas, I called Abby,” Alex explains, she’s talking faster than Kelley’s heard her before. “I told her how real it felt when you were there. How it felt like I wasn’t imaging your feelings for me that week.”

“What’d she say?”

The bell above the diner door dings loudly, and the Cook’s laugh from the kitchens, but Kelley doesn’t let herself get too distracted by it.

“She said that I needed to take a step back, really think about my feelings for you. I needed to decide if I wanted to go after you or stay with Servando.”

Kelley nods, lets the confession wash over her. That was Christmas, and Servando wasn’t there, but-

“He proposed on New Years.”

Alex clicks her tongue, “Yeah, I didn’t have too much time to really process everything.”

“Shit.”

Silence fills the space between them for a moment. Alex pushes her mug away with her free hand. 

“Where does this leave us?” She asks. 

Kelley looks up at her, pauses. 

“I’m going home to Georgia tonight.” 

She had this morning reserved in her calendar as a self-pity day. The last day to let herself be hurt by her feelings for Alex before she took the steps to move on, and before she got to Georgia where Erin’s taking her for a night on the town. Being here with Alex not how today was supposed to go. 

“Space?” Alex frowns.

Kelley nods, “It’ll be good for us.” She insists, squeezing Alex’s hand. “You need to deal with the aftermath of your wedding and talk to your family. They’re all probably confused.”

_ Except for your Dad, _ Kelley wants to add but doesn’t.

“Plus it’ll give us both time to figure out what we’re going to do.” She adds. 

Alex sighs, sliding her hand out of Kelley’s. A wave of panic shoots down Kelley’s spine, but Alex calms it with a small smile.

“There’s those Stanford’s smarts making an appearance.”

Kelley smiles back. “Don’t be jealous, Morgan.” 

~

Kelley shifts the car into park after she pulls into Alex’s driveway. Alex stares at her parent’s house, hands folded in her lap. Kelley can see the wave of nerves rolling off of her. 

Alex doesn’t want to go inside, but she has to. 

Kelley’s not ready to face the Morgan’s yet. She doesn’t know how Alex’s family reacted to Alex leaving. She doesn’t want to think about it.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Kelley says. 

Alex sighs, “You have to be at the airport soon.”

Kelley shrugs, “I can miss my flight.”

“No, you can’t.”

Alex grabs the hotel bag with her wedding dress and heels from the backseat. Their shoulders brush when Alex turns around to sit the bag at her feet. She sighs again, bites her lip. Kelley reaches out to brush loose strands of hair behind Alex’s ear. 

“It’s going to be okay,” She reminds softly. Alex leans into her hand. “They love you regardless of yesterday.”

Alex turns toward her, holds Kelley’s elbow. The curtains from the living room window open and Kelley sees Jen and Jeri peering out. Alex’s eyes never leave her. 

“Will you text me when you get to the airport?”

Kelley gives Alex a small smile, “When I get there and before I board.”

Alex glances toward the house. “I’m going to get out now.”

“Okay.”

Alex doesn’t move. Kelley doesn’t want her to. Neither are ready to let go of this little bubble they share.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Alex smiles, “You don’t have to ask.”

She shrugs, “I’m not used to that yet.”

She’s scared to get used to it. They’re about to be apart for two weeks after only being together for barely twenty-four hours. Anything can happen. 

“You better start now then.”

Alex tugs her forward by her elbow. Kelley breathes in the feeling of kissing Alex. Commits it to memory. 

“Two weeks,” Alex says.

Kelley nods, kisses her once more.

“Fourteen days.”

Alex laughs loud and bright in the space around them. Kelley holds up a double thumbs up when she pushes open the passenger side door and climbs out. Kelley doesn’t feel sick to her stomach as she watches Alex walk away. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I do want to make this a three part or more story, but I'm not sure yet. This has been a WIP for months.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so maybe the title is misleading. It wasn't going to be at first, then I watched a movie and I changed it. Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated, but I hope you enjoyed this story! Come talk to me at my Tumblr your-hope-is-my-anchor!


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